Saturday, February 27, 2010

Ladies, get a grip on marriage!

Picture this. We have a beautiful set up whereby many of us at some point decide to make a lifelong commitment to a member of the opposite sex. We make solemn promises and we do so in front of witnesses so that we can be held accountable for this. If we are mature, we understand that it isn’t a magic ceremony but a decision to love and live with someone in spite of all the vicissitudes of life – until one or both of us dies.

Now this is a legally binding agreement and there are some costs associated with doing it. These are: (in England, in Scotland and Ireland it is slightly less)

To give notice £30 per person £60.00

Registration ceremony £40.00

Certificate £ 3.50

Total £103.50

Now tell me, for what reason do we then decide that what I discussed above is a far secondary consideration to throwing our friends a party, buying an overpriced outfit we will wear once for a few hours and buying some jewellery? For this is what a wedding has become.

Time and time again I hear couples who wish to marry say they cannot afford to and trust me, they are not saying they don’t have £103.50 which is all they need. They mean they don’t have twenty grand to throw a party, buy the clothes and the ring (and the rings are usually in addition to the £20k!).

To be fair, it’s usually the women who go nuts over the party, jewellery and clothes. The men seem to be quite sensible and see a marriage for what it is. Lord knows they take it seriously; you won’t get a bloke marrying you (for the most part) unless he really wants to. And many sensibly don’t want to have anything to do with putting on the overpriced fiasco that the modern wedding has become – just tell them when to show up. In fact, many a male friend of mine has said how disgusted they have become with the behaviour of their bride to be in the run up to their wedding. The obsession with show and the extravagant spending on so called ‘must-have’ items leads many a man to take a long hard second look and causes some to scarper.

The obsession with peripherals is a disgraceful indictment against womankind. If I were a man, I would leave skid marks at the sight of a bridezilla (basically any woman obsessed or in my opinion, even remotely interested in a party, dress and jewellery), they should be obsessed with the marriage and it being successful.

There ought to be a law that you cannot have the party and the dress until your fifth anniversary. I give a concession on the rings because it is part of the public declaration – a way to help prevent adulterous advances or thoughts – but the rings needn’t cost the earth. You can get good ones for £100 or less.

Marriage is not about a party, a dress and some jewellery. It is madness to treat it as if it is.

If you are considering getting married – put some thought into what your life will be like and how you will have to behave for the rest of your life with this other person. Keep in mind that you both will change, life will happen to you, for better and often for worse. Understand marriage isn’t a Mills and Boons novel or a Hollywood film and if you have spent months concentrating on the party and given next to no thought to the marriage, then recognise you have no business inflicting yourself on another person. Step back and take some time to grow up.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Companies – be honest!

How frustrating it is when companies lie to you. I feel it would be much better if they would level with you about the product they are selling. Instead, what you get are frequent assurances that you are getting one thing when you are getting another – almost universally an inferior ‘other.’ Take broadband speeds. Companies claim in glossy ads that you are getting certain speeds when in actual fact you are getting a fraction. I say, let me know exactly what I am getting and then let me make a well considered decision about whether to buy or not.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Why Shouldn't He Have an Engagement Ring?

Saw a story on engagement rings for men or 'mengagement rings.' What do you think? I don't see why he shouldn't get an engagement ring if he wants one - we get them don't we? This is where the rubber hits the road ladies, if we want to be treated equally, then in those matters which are not role related as God decreed it surely we should treat the gents in the same way they treat us right? Go on, take him down to your local jewellers and peer over the glass and let him pick out something nice. It's only fair really isn't it?

Monday, February 08, 2010

Post Office Documentary Shocking

I am watching the Dispatches documentary on channel four right now on the post office. It is frightening!

Right now one postal worker is refusing to serve a customer because he rang the bell. (Uhm, you're supposed to, in order to get someone to deal with you).

Also, a lot of people are getting a 'you were out' postcard when they are home. That's definitely happened to me - I've had to foot it down the street after a few postmen who never even knocked on the door.

Now I know this is unlikely to be how all postal workers are but for a public facing service industry there seems to too many people without the service vocation - or even basic professional pride. I've often been in jobs I didn't like and thought I was being exploited in but I have not given customers or clients less of a service as a result - it's nothing to do with them and I have professional courtesy. This needs to be the case whatever job you do. If things are that bad - quit.

There seems to be a terrible attitude amongst many of them - a sort of sense of entitlement. A lack of professionalism. Is it that the only way you can get basic professionalism to pay people very high salaries? In that case the service won't be feasible and more and more people and businesses will use alternative services. Then these postal workers will have to look for work in the re-vamped public sector or the private sector - God help them then.

Sorry to the hardworking of you out there. It's a shame that the bad ones let down everyone but even a few bad ones in a service like this taint the whole service.

Thursday, February 04, 2010

Sorry Prof has died

I am so sorry Professor Nettleford has died. Now he wasn’t a close friend of mine but I got to work with him when I was in UWI Singers – for about six months – and he was a lovely (and very funny) man. It is a shame he had to go – even at 77, he could have had many more enjoyable years to contribute and believe me, he could contribute to society. We should take from his life of service the lesson that we too should serve and not be so self absorbed.


Tuesday, February 02, 2010

We must get smart

So some Cadbury’s workers went to protest outside of parliament – to stop the new owners shedding their jobs. It really is time for us to grow some brains – and the union rep who was with them is either an idiot or incompetent.

Let me spell it out in simple terms people: When a company agrees to be sold to another and the sale goes through, as long as no laws have been broken and there are no issue with competition from the new entity – then the government HAS NO SAY IN THE EMPLOYMENT OR SACKING OF EMPLOYEES!!!!

Going to protest to the government is a big arse waste of time and anyone with any sense would know that. It is a harsh reality that people lose their jobs when companies merge or change hands but the smart way to approach this problem is to a) position yourself as a worker that has something spectacular to offer the new company or b) look for another job.

Come on people – to coin a phrase, I know you can be dumb but do you have to be THAT dumb?